Lust

The theme of this week’s readings seems to be love versus lust. The two are often confused with one another but could not be more opposite. However, when a distinct balance can be reached between them, a relationship can flourish incredibly.
In Edna St. Vincent Millay’s “I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed,” the narrator’s feelings of lust are overwhelming. By using phrases such as “feel a certain zest,” she shows that her attraction is mostly if not completely physical. She seems to be quite aware that her desire for this man is inappropriate, unhealthy, and just a bad idea altogether, but he clouds her judgment and leaves her “undone, possessed.” Though she sounds eager to experience something with this man again, she decides these feelings leave her too helpless. She is tired of her brain being in conflict with her blood—or hormones—and no longer wants all of her concentration to be on this one man. Towards the end of the poem, her tone changes from excitement to practicality as she reaches a surprising decision to not interact with him again, but promises to try her hardest to remember him fondly. “I shall remember you with love, or season my scorn with pity.” The structure of the poem is an Italian sonnet, in which the first eight lines are dedicated to her burning question: What will happen when we meet again? The answer to her inquiry, in the last six lines, is that she will never and does not want to find out.
The speaker in Andrew Marvell’s “To His Coy Mistress” is also describing feelings of lust, but this time it is from a man towards a woman. Unlike Shakespeare’s “My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun,” the poem is extravagant and contains “false compare” about the subject. This man is promising love and devotion to his mistress in hopes that she will give him her virginity. His argument contains a very carpe diem attitude; they need to take advantage of this opportunity while they are still young and adventurous, for they will eventually grow old and lose their chance. Much like John Donne’s “The Flea,” the desire to convince the woman to engage in sexual intercourse is consistent throughout the poem. Although he is committed to his conquest, guaranteeing a long life together of love and praise—and wealth, if he could attain it—before any sexual activity, the narrator’s persistence implies that his lust outweighs his love for this woman.
Zora Neale Hurston’s “The Gilded Six-Bits” is the only one of the reading selections that shows signs of true love. Joe and Missie May show genuine intimacy with one another as husband and wife. “Very little talk during the meal but that little consisted of banter that pretended to deny affection but in reality flaunted it.” Their marriage, similar to that of Nanny Flowers and Koro in Whale Rider, is based on mutual respect and adoration. That is, until lust comes into the picture. This time, lust comes in the form of Missie’s hunger for money. When Joe stumbles upon his wife with the wealthy ice cream parlor owner, Mr. Slemmons, that respect and adoration is shattered. Rather than leave her, he punishes Missie—who no doubt still loved him very much despite her indiscretion—by staying with her and ignoring her almost completely, a direct affront to their previous relationship. Joe’s feelings of love for his wife, and newborn son, actually overcome his anger, removing any intent for revenge and eventually allowing him to go back to the way things were in order to become a family.
Lust is a dangerous thing. Too much—or not enough—of it can destroy a relationship, whether it is in the form of sexual desire or longing for material things. However, it is my belief that just the right amount of it, in just the right way, could provide two people who already possess love for one another with a rare yet magnificent connection.