Blog #3...The obstacles in the way of Love

“I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed” by John Milton, “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell, and "The Gilded Six-Bits" by Zora Neale Hurston's all have themes about the obstacles that come in the way of love.

John Milton’s “I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed” is a poem about a woman whose love interest does not desire her the same way she desires him. The speaker of the poem seems to be frustrated having a man only lust after her physically and not emotionally. She contradicts herself by only speaking of her physical attraction for her lover. “To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind/ And leave me once again undone, possessed” (lines 6-7) In these lines, the diction of the word “pulse” implies a physical attraction, that “clouds the mind” by not allowing a deeper feeling of love. The speaker describes being left alone, being undone, but still being possessed, which shows that although her lover has left, he still possesses her thoughts. The speaker goes on to discuss how her physical attraction affects her judgment. “Of my stout blood, against my staggering brain, I shall remember you with love, or season” (Lines 10-11) These two lines describe how the speaker’s physical attraction conflicts with her emotional attachment to her lover. The second line tells her lover that depending on what he feels for her, she will either remember him with love once he is gone, or only remember him as a passing memory in a time of her life. This is a poem about how lust can come in the way of love, especially if one person feels lust, while the other feels love. The speaker does not want to admit whether her attraction is merely physical or whether she cares more deeply for her lover, until he explains his own thoughts.

Similar to John Milton’s poem, Andrew Marvell’s poem “To His Coy Mistress” deals with a problem coming in between lovers. The first nineteen lines of the poem all tell of the speakers love for his mistress. “Had we but world enough, and time,/ This coyness, lady, were no crime./ We would sit down, and think which way/ To walk, and pass our long love’s day.” (Lines 1-4). Up until line 20, there are no indentations, but line 21 is indented. This symbolizes a change in context and tone in the poem. After this indentation, the speakers begins to tell of how the obstacle getting in the way of his love is time. “But at my back I always hear/ Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;/ And yonder all before us lie/ Deserts of vast eternity.” (Lines 21-24). Along with the literal interpretation of “Time” we can also interpret “Time” as fate. This is reiterated in the last two lines of the poem. “Thus, though we cannot make our sun/ Stand still, yet we will make him run.” The term “sun” can be interpreted as fate. The speaker knows that time will eventually pass, but he is determined to live in the moment of their love.

In The Gilded Six-Bits" by Zora Neale Hurston, temptation and the ability to forgive are the forces in the way of the two characters love. The two main characters in this short story are Joe and Missy May. The story begins by telling of Joe and Missy May’s Saturday ritual of a playful banter, filled with love. “Missie May grinned with delight. She had not seen the big tall man come stealing in the gate and creep up the walk grinning happily at the joyful mischief he was about to commit. But she knew that it was her husband throwing silver dollars in the door for her to pick up and pile beside her plate at dinner. It was this way every Saturday afternoon.”(p.1) Along with the silver dollars, Joe would hide little chocolate kisses and other gifts in his pockets for Missy May to find. The story goes on to develop the couples love. On a particular day Joe comes home to find Missy May in bed with a wealthy man from town. The man panics and offers to pay Joe not to hurt him. Joe accidentally takes the money and lets the man go, and Missy Man begins to cry. For the rest of the story the relationship changes. The couple, once full of lust, barely touches or speaks, and while it seems Joe has forgiven her by staying with her, it is evident he is far from forgetting. He constantly reminds himself of the deed, and finds it hard to be with her, only allowing her to rub his back after a hard days worth. Towards the end of the story, Joe’s attitude changes when he enters a store, and hears a story about men similar to the one that slept with his wife. “"Offen a stray nigger dat come through Eatonville. He had it on his watch chain for a charm--goin' round making out iss gold money. Ha ha! He had a quarter on his tiepin and it wuz all golded up too. Tryin' to fool people. Makin' out he so rich and everything. Ha! Ha! Tryin' to tole off folkses wives from home." "How did you git it, Joe? Did he fool you, too?" "Who, me? Naw suh! He ain't fooled me none. Know whut Ah done? He come round me wid his smart talk. Ah hauled off and knocked 'im down and took his old four-bits away from 'im. Gointer buy my wife some good ole lasses kisses wid it. Gimme fifty cents worth of dem candy kisses." “ (p.1) This creates a change in the end of the story. Joe goes home and for the first time since Missy slept with another man, he continues the Saturday ritual. This story tells of an obstacle in the way of this couples marriage. Along with deceit, and insecurity about fame, there is also a lesson of forgiveness.

“I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed” by John Milton, “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell, and "The Gilded Six-Bits" by Zora Neale Hurston's discuss obstacles that can interfere with love. Insecurity is an emotion one does not usually first associate with love, but upon further examining, it is one of the most present emotions. Insecurity that your lover does not feel the same, insecurity that you will eventually have to part due to fate or eventual death, or insecurity that your lovers eyes are not contently fixed on yours. Before reading these poems I never realized how present insecurity was present in relationships. I don’t necessarily believe that insecurity always has the negative connotations it presents. Insecurity can bring appreciation for what you have.

While reading these poems and short story, I also thought on how I could apply what I had learned to the year of the city. As a student at a Jesuit college, I have learned that love is an important part of the learning experience. You must love what you learn, and love those you want to lead and help. It is also important that you look at your intentions in the purest form. We cannot help others merely for credit, but for the sole purpose of truly helping those in need. We can have no gray areas in our intentions. From the second poem, I am able to take that time is of the essence. It is important to live in the moment, while understanding that the moment will not last forever. If we are to help those in need, we cannot wait, we must act now. The short story taught me that not everything is what it seems, and that forgiveness is an essential part of life. We must look at situations, particularly Baltimore without preconceptions of its culture or people, and we must also learn to forgive any previous wrongs we have seen in Baltimore. Love is a beautiful thing, but it is important to recognize and work on the obstacles in its way.