Contrasting Love

Two poems that have contrasting ideas on the subject of love are “I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed” by Edna St. Vincent Millay, and “To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell. These can be paired together nicely as one presents the thoughts of a man and the other shows the perception of a woman. Even though these speakers will set up contrasting ideas on love, they still share a similar plot. In a way, both of the poems are about a man trying to get a woman to sleep with him for one reason or another.

In “I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed,” the speaker is a proud woman who is experienced in relation to her sexual conquests. The man in the poem would like to sleep with the female speaker, but she has not yet made up her mind. Being that she is more experienced, she is in complete control of the man, as she shows that she has the power to end conversation. The woman in this poem is woman with a past that uses what she has learned. The idea is that she will let him know when she is ready for this love, not the other way around.

In “To His Coy Mistress,” the poem is about a man who is trying to change the status of a woman as a virgin. The man realizes that as he is getting older, his love for this woman grows stronger. He tries to persuade the lady into a different state by telling her that he loves her. He then says, “Thus, though we cannot make our sun stand still, yet we will make him run.” The speaker is trying to say that since he cannot stop time and stop getting older, they should take advantage of the moment and her youthfulness. Unlike the other poem, knowledge of true love does not come from previous sexual conquests. The idea of love in Marvell’s poem is found beyond the physical attraction. The different idea is that if a woman and a man can live together without worrying about one’s virginity, then they will be able to figure out if they truly love each other.